Scotmid-What's it like?

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 05 Apr 2005, 23:05

bouncie_kiwi wrote:... she just said 'dinny bothur wi the polis am fonun heed oaffus' then stormed out.

What's it going to be like when you get a visit from the Vice President? He will kick s**t oot oh ye!

bouncie_kiwi · Post by **bouncie_kiwi** » 18 Apr 2005, 14:37

doesnt everyone love the public? i
apparently tried to "steal" a womans credit card the other day, and then ran away with it to buy stuff off the internet(!)

in other words he left it in the chip and pin machine and i didnt notice until the next customer, when i added it to the small pile of cards in the office, until it was collected later by its owner, who had phoned the store and started shouting at my poor manager saying "shes pure goat ma card, she could be usin it tae buy god kens whot oan the internet or any-hin so suhin bettur be done aboot it- " then she got cut off by "whats your name?" she replied, and my manager simply said "oh its in front of me you mustve left it in the machine"
she just hung up apparently

is it just public in general or do the 55-65 year old women have a certain predisposition to schemie-ness and fight starting?
hmm...

DG · Post by DG » 18 Apr 2005, 16:45

b_k, love your stories and really love the way you tell them. I know it's tragic that people can behave in this way...however, got me laughing at my work desk

Please, keep them coming!

DG

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 28 Apr 2005, 23:05

Bouncy, you are wasted in Scotmid

Why don't you give us a weekly update just to cheer us all up - "Bouncy's Guide to Joe Public"

Mimpty · Post by **Mimpty** » 29 Apr 2005, 13:33

I've had my bags packed for me twice now, and the store wasn't busy either time.

sconegrrl · Post by **sconegrrl** » 29 Apr 2005, 16:46

Scotmid is amazing. It's like global capitalism just never happened. I love how it's stocks a bizarre combo of naff/cheap food and organic/fair trade stuff. Their organic cotton bog roll is the best! I only noticed recently that they stock kitchen utensils and tellys. Seriously, you could just live there.

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 29 Apr 2005, 17:05

What about the Gazebo and BBQ equipment in between the salad bar and the deli counter - You can't move for it !

sconegrrl · Post by **sconegrrl** » 29 Apr 2005, 18:45

God, you're not kidding... I nipped over for some crisps and the gazebo is massive.

I was rather taken by the display featuring a garden table with umbrella though. Placing 5 bumper tubs of marshmallows on the table set it off really nicely.

There were two slightly posh women looking lost and moaning about the vegetable layout and I just thought to myself... "this place is wasted on you! Go back to Sainsbury's - this discounted-cake paradise is for Scotmid People!"

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 29 Apr 2005, 23:51

Bearcub has seen gazebo..Scotmid is good for fresh bread (sometimes), milk, cheese, wine (good selection though varies from co-op to co-op, we got a fab bottle in North Ballahulish that has prob not seen the light of day in Porty), selected veg, brilliant beef (the co-op best) for steak sandwiches (sorry veggies) - actually better than sainsbury!

bouncie_kiwi · Post by **bouncie_kiwi** » 03 May 2005, 21:07

well i got another customer 'complaint' on monday night, actually more of a "that wee lassie fokkin shwore at me likesh thatsh no fokkin right likesh" then proceeded in walking into a rather prominent stack of cola cans , followed by some random squealing on about FOKKIN HELF 'N SHAFETEH MAN FOKKIN 'ELL LIKESH

anyway the complaint: this twit maybe early 20's, looking very un-sober i might add) asked for cigaretes at the normal checkout. the fag counter was busy but i wasnt, so i went and got them. then i get 'woh man ah furgoat a ligh-ur' so again i went back over. 3rd time was just takin the p i s s tho "aw gonnae git meh sum ay they shiggureette papursh an-aw" by now im really getting p i s s e d off - it wasnt till the wee shite turned to his friend and sniggered (snorted?) while pointing and laughing i thought nooooo thank ya so he was simply told to "take your ass over to the fag counter and get them yourself, the queue is going down"
simple?
no!
"FOKKIN EH??? YEH CANNY SHPEEK TAE ME LIKE THAT LIKESH FOKKIN....FOKKIN...WHARESH YUR MANAGUR??!?!!!"
then he stormed off presumably to find a manager leaving innocent bystanders rather scared.
i mean..what the HELL?!?!?!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 04 May 2005, 19:12

bouncie_kiwi wrote:so he was simply told to "take your ass over to the fag counter and get them yourself"

Class!

Jamesie · Post by **Jamesie** » 05 May 2005, 00:03

Sandra wrote:Scotmid...for steak sandwiches (sorry veggies) - actually better than sainsbury!

Sure I spotted some steaks in bearcub's sainsburys carrier bag on the 26 tonight

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 18 May 2005, 11:46

Well, Scotmid have outdone themselves this time. WTF is that plastic tent/marquee/bus shelter thing that is now located between the fresh vegetable and 2 for 1 really bad for you sections?

Ive tried looking for a price but can only see "Wooden Table" Ã‚Â£39.99. What is the purpose of this monstrosity, aoart from maybe p issing off the Jones' who surely can't have anything similar.

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 18 May 2005, 14:14

Great place for a white settee too - Inbetween the two front doors.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 18 May 2005, 14:29

I thought I saw a flicker of movement from the new security guard when i was in earlier. IT WAS!!!

He was lighting his fag outside, whilst the purloiners carried on inside.

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 18 May 2005, 23:06

He probably thought even a pro could not steal the gazebo by stuffing it up their jersey.

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 09 Jun 2005, 13:49

Get tired when you are out shopping?

Worry no more because Scotmid have placed a single and a double bed between the Pasta and Chilled meals fridges. It totally blocks the walkway but you can have a wee rest.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 09 Jun 2005, 14:05

Pal of Porty wrote:Get tired when you are out shopping?

Worry no more because Scotmid have placed a single and a double bed between the Pasta and Chilled meals fridges. It totally blocks the walkway but you can have a wee rest.

Ideal. Bruce is at this very minute completing a Scotmid application. It does not take a massive amount of effort to imagine him having a nap, in the chilled food section.

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 09 Jun 2005, 19:04

If Scotmid's good enough for one of MY offspring it's def good enough for one of yours

prombabe · Post by **prombabe** » 11 Jun 2005, 15:48

This thread had me laughing out loud and relaying everyone's comments to my fellow workers who had'nt a clue what I was on about.They really dont know how to live down here

I go into scotmid when I visit and last time commented on the stock they were starting to sell,but it seems that more has arrived since my last visit. Where else can possibly have a store as unique as Scotmid

Zargonian · Post by **Zargonian** » 14 Jun 2005, 14:10

Scotmid's handy being so near.
But since I got me car fixed I go to Morrisons'.
My girlfriend and I had a snackfest to die for the other night.

You must check out the potatoes in batter for .98p.
Nice......................

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 14 Jun 2005, 14:17

Scotmid offer spotted at lunchtime. Heinz bakled beans: individual cans 38p Pack of 4 ???? Ã‚Â£1.86 a massive saving of ...... minus 34p

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 14 Jun 2005, 14:22

What sort of furrin muck are 'bakled' beans??!!

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 14 Jun 2005, 19:40

Yep, only in Scotmid will you find them.........

bouncie_kiwi · Post by **bouncie_kiwi** » 10 Sep 2005, 08:34

if i get one more arrogant twat asking for MALBLA LITE TINTY im going to scream. one more stuck up *insert obscenity here* 'GIVE me shmeeernoaf', or another one stuffing a phone card under/up my nose nearly hitting me most of the time and demanding "TEN PUND TOP PUP GIVE ME RECEET" im going to end up in jail for mass homicide. and i thought the old foggies from porty scotmid were bad!!!! ARGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyway hope all is will with you

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 10 Sep 2005, 10:36

Took me a wee while to decipher that

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 10 Sep 2005, 14:33

bouncie_kiwi wrote:from porty scotmid were bad!!!! ARGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyway hope all is will with you

Aw Bouncy don't tell me you've deserted us! Have missed you

You could make a game along the lines of Sadokos or whatever it's called, but with your very own brand of communication

GRANTY · Post by **GRANTY** » 10 Sep 2005, 22:23

I'm glad the Scot Mid thread is alive and well. It makes me laugh!

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 11 Sep 2005, 21:02

GRANTY wrote:I'm glad the Scot Mid thread is alive and well. It makes me laugh!

Me too. Here's a thought, have you ever seen someone laugh in scotmid? It must have happened.

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 11 Sep 2005, 21:05

What's Pilrig got to do with it Bouncie

Gedge · Post by **Gedge** » 28 Sep 2005, 13:01

There seems to be a new generation of worker being introduced to Scotmid - polite, efficient and trained. This is an extremely worrying development and threatens to alter the whole atmosphere and culture of this beloved institution. I call on all POL members to contact the manager voicing concern at the new policy as it is threatening the most amusing thread on the website.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 28 Sep 2005, 15:38

Gedge wrote:There seems to be a new generation of worker being introduced to Scotmid - polite, efficient and trained. This is an extremely worrying development and threatens to alter the whole atmosphere and culture of this beloved institution. I call on all POL members to contact the manager voicing concern at the new policy as it is threatening the most amusing thread on the website.

Have no fear gedge old boy. This type of initiative has been tried before. We will have a fleeting change before sinking back to what we know and erm....love.

I really do hold the view that in Portobello Scotmid there is a sit-com waiting to be written

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 28 Sep 2005, 16:50

One of the bizarre things that I've always just accepted, until recently, about Scotmid is the way they label their wine shelves. Most supermarkets label the shelf beneath the bottle with a description of the wine, the country of origin, awards won, which dishes it may best accompany, that sort of thing.

What do Scotmid do?

They tell you it comes from their Cumbernauld Depot!

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 28 Sep 2005, 21:20

Marya wrote:One of the bizarre things that I've always just accepted, until recently, about Scotmid is the way they label their wine shelves. Most supermarkets label the shelf beneath the bottle with a description of the wine, the country of origin, awards won, which dishes it may best accompany, that sort of thing.

What do Scotmid do?

They tell you it comes from their Cumbernauld Depot!

Well that's foreign...isn't it

bouncie_kiwi · Post by **bouncie_kiwi** » 06 Oct 2005, 09:27

Marya wrote:What's Pilrig got to do with it Bouncie

oh yeah i forgot to explain that part i got a transfer to pilrig scotmid because i moved down there and have just realised that as much as i moaned about porty, they were so much more tolerable than the stuck up pseudosnobs "ew, whehs yoh owgaaaanic section, or is THAT it theeehhh?, ew theehs nathingk i should have went up to tess-cows i do saaay"

yeah well we're a convience store, not a organic market!!!! THEYRE EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!
i had a woman ask me where the "ohh-gaanic chok-lits are and dew yew have laaahge ohh-gaanic dowe egbeeets coffey PET?"
and the ones who are so obsessed with treating their 'precious' bodies like temples or something, then come up to the fag counter and get 40 fags?!?! i mean if theyre so concerned about the oh-so-bad-and-contaminating-evil toxins on the bog roll theyre wiping their backsides with (ref to organic bog roll

), then why would they put it in their lungs!?? maybe they think their special precious butt is more important than their vital organs....
anyhoo im on about another scotmid here so i will shut up now!!
cheerie bye peoples!

Talk Porty ~ Portobello

Scotmid-What's it like?

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